Truth or Dare Cullens style
by MizzAliceCullen
Summary: Edwrad gay? Emmett in girly clothes on the front cover of Vogue? Balla and Mike? Alice wearing leaves? Jasper casting love spells? Whats going on? - story better than summarrie! please read and review!
1. Chapter 1

**Truth or Dare Cullens style!**

Edward POV

Rosalie was sitting on Emmett's lap, Bella on mine and Alice on Jaspers. We all sat in a circle trying to decide who would go first. I was driving Jasper crazy with my emotions every time Bella would object in her new Bell like voice, how I wish I knew what she was thinking.

"NO way! I'm not going first! Edward Help!" She cried in defeat, I growled menacingly to show this decision was not yet made.

"Emmett, you can! Since you came up with the game!" Yes what a brilliant idea! "Emmett, just so you know, we are playing this Cullen version. No mercy! We all do dare first and then after everyone has gone we move on to truth! No wreaking Esme's furniture remember what happened last time!?"

"Okay! Let us begin!" I stated loudly, thank God Esme and Carlisle we away for a term in Alaska treating injured Penguins!

Emmett POV

My dare was first! Yes! This was going to be great!

"You have to run through wall marts naked!" Bella giggles

"That's all? Easy!" I said truthfully, I do that all the time just to scare mike newton1 I see Edwards lips twitch slightly at the thought! Dam stupid mind reading vampire!

"No that's not all! You run naked for half an hour around town and wall mart, then to Canada, than back to wall mart! Were you will wear women's lingerie! And run through a 'VOGE' photo shoot in it with Rosalie! Before hedding back to Wall mart and stealing an old mans shopping cart. You tip out the shopping and Rosalie will hop in then you will wheel her around."

"Hmmp! That's a lot!" I mean WOW! Who knew Alice had it in her! "Let's go!"

I pulled off my clothes and started running at vampire speed down the drive way "human speed!" I heard Alice shriek, oh man! This was going to be a long day!

I ran through town and past Jessica who was squealing and clapping wildly before jumping on my back, piggy back style. Finally that part was over! I raced quickly to Canada and back earning a few odd looks.

Now to wall mart I wonder what was on my list. As I walk through the doors I spot my family waiting at the lingered. Ahhh Scary old lady panties! Ahhh!!! Their like as big as a bus. Quickly Rose and I dressed and hedded to Vogue were we made the front cover for get this 'strangest couple!" Isn't that nice of them! Not!

As soon as we reentered wall mart I spotted an old man with a shopping cart I grabbed it above my head causing people to scream before I tipped it out , put Rosalie in and said: to our honeymoon! Before pushing her out of the shop.

"Worst dare ever alice!"

Rosalie POV

Just as Em and I were making a quick getaway Jasper jumped in front of me saying "I'm not finished with you yet!"

"What do I have to do, I'm not kissing Mike Newton again!" Edward chuckled at the memory.

"Marry him!'

"No way!!!!!" Emmett roared

"Joking! Sheash……umm…eat a hole pizza with salmon on top!"

"Eww!" I slowly downed the dirt tasting stuff ";do you know how much fat the contains?" I whined as I ate the last mouth full.

"You're dead! You can't gain wait! Now you have to keep that down for and hour!" Alice smirked; I was going to get her back big time!

Eww, gross! I feel like vomiting!

"Edward you dare!" I sang happily, before laughing evilly and making him shrink into his seat at pizza hut.

Edward POV

"Kiss Tanya!" Rosalie declared.

"Go on" Bella said, looking as if she might laugh, wasn't she a bit jealous? _Not at all! _Jaspers mind told me. Hmmp! Maybe I'll make her jealous…….

My family and I ran to Tanya's new home in Mexico. I knocked on the door and kissed the awaiting lips as soon as it opened. As I pulled back I realised it was a human male! Ahh! I'll never live this down with my family now!

Quickly as we ran back to forks Alice told me she had know idea who that was because Tanya never changed house and that was a fake number.

I was going to kill her!

Bella POV

"Ahahahahhahahahahahahhahhahahhahha!" all the way back to forks I laughed! It was just too hilarious! Edward kissed a boy!

"Stop laughing!" he growled

"No way!" I chanted over and over again.

"Well now it's your dare!" he laughed evilly

"Honey don't do this I'm stronger than you at the moment!" I warned hopeing he would listen.

"Kiss mike Newton and Jacob Black!"

"Okay!" He was going to regret this! I would pretend to like it and make him jealous.

"Mike!" I called as threw pebbles against his window. His grotesque face was lighted by the moon when he opened the back door. He took a seat next to me on the cough swing. I slowly leaning in and listened to his ever faster beating heat. Just as I kissed him I turned off my shield and filled my mind with pleasant thoughts about kissing Mike. Boy was it hard to do.

Then I ran off into the darkness leaving a bewilded looking Mike.

Next stop…….Jacobs house!

I sat with Jacob in the Volkswagen Rabbit he was building, Ahh just like old times. I kept my thoughts lite. It was going to be easier to think nice thoughts this time because I actually loved Jacob! Not as much as Edward but enough.

I slowly leaned down and kissed his scorching lips. It wasn't as nice as last time, now his lips burned me and I could only imaging how cold mine could feel.

I filled my mind with loving Jacob. How he was there for me when Edward left hoe we had kissed. Oh my god! I realised this was too easy! I actually loved him maybe even more than Edward!

I pulled away abruptly sure that if I were human my cheeks would be flaming.

"Well deal with this another time okay?" **A/N: I am going to writ another story about the part okay? please review with ideas for it! **

Edward POV

I couldn't believe it! Bella and Jacob, Bella and Jacob, Bella and Jacob, Bella and Jacob, Bella and Jacob, Bella and Jacob, Bella and Jacob, Bella and Jacob! Bella and Jacob, Bella and Jacob, Bella and Jacob, Bella and Jacob, Bella and Jacob, Bella and Jacob, Bella and Jacob, Bella and Jacob! No matter how many times I repeated it I couldn't make my brain absorb the information. _Hhahhahah! Bella and Jacob, did she really think she liked him that muck? Hahahah! I did it Edward I made her like him so much! _ "Jasper I'm sure Bella would love to hear this! Since she's daring you next!"

With hat I raced off to tell Bella the news!

Jasper POV

Now I was scared!

"Jasper you cannot touch Alice for a month and that's that!"

Alice hopped off my lap and sat between Bella and Edward on the couch.

"Fine! Alice I dare you to wear clothes made out of leaves!"

Alice POV

"Sure Jazzy!" I ran out side and returned with a bi=undel of leaves. Awesome I could make a new clothing line 'La' leaves'.

Edward POV

"Emmett Truth or truth?" Alice asked, obviously enjoying this way too much, she could dare Bella to try on a trillion clothes I bet! Or make her wear leaves like her……Wait! She can't! The dare part is over were now on truth!

"Truth Alice" Emmett mumbled in exasperation

"okay, umm, have you ever eaten human food?"

"Hell yes! When I was human duh!"

"When u weren't human!"

"Once or twice when people got suspicious" I watched Alice's face fall, she was hopeing he would be stupid enough to eat it again to prove it!

"Rosalie's go!" Jasper roared I'm asking!"

"Fine!" Rosalie huffed

"Name 20 places you and Emmett 'did it'!"

"No way!"

"Rules Rosalie!"

"Okay! Mount Everest, at the top of the tornado in Disney world, MacDonald's slide, our room, the couch" immediately everyone jumped off it except Rosalie

"Ewwww! I'm sitting on the floor!' Bella declared

"I wouldn't do that if I were you!'

"Yuck!" Bella and I both Jumped on top of the TV.

"Not safe guys!" Emmett laughed

"On top of the TV?" I asked before jumping on top of the counter like Alice and Jasper.

"Safe?" Bella asked

"nope" Rosalie said, not even looking up from her nail polish.

"The roof is safe though right?" I asked

"No its not" Alice giggled. Hmmm interesting,

"What?" Bella Screamed

"Fine then" I said pulling Bella to sit on the piano.

"Not safe!" Emmett laughed again

"my piano!" I screamed

"not us! Carlisle and Esme!"

"Ewww!" Bella shuddered at the thought as did I.

"Enough! This game is over! Bella and I are going to our cottage! The only place safe from you lot!"

**Please review with ideas!**


	2. Funny as it is

Funny Cullen Moments:

Evil Alice

"Shopping!" Alice screeched, running down the stairs straight into Emmett.

"Can we go to the hardware store?" Carlisle shouted from his study.

"Why?" Alice frowned wondering why we would need to fix anything.

"Emmett! Broke the tap in the bathroom!"

"HOW?" she demanded cornering Emmett.

"It was an accident!" he screamed running out the door.

Edward stepped out from behind the piano and Bella from behind the curtain and high fived Alice.

"Yes I helped you scare Emmett off" Alice stated

"So did I!" Carlisle interrupted.

"Yes, you will now have to come shopping with me!" She laughed evilly and ran out the door into the Porsche. She then shouted "for a month in Paris!"

"Here we go again!" Bella sighed.

Renesmee Talks

"Mama!" I ran across the room and scooped my baby up I my arms with Bella close behind. She had just said her first word!

Alice appeared behind me and started recording the words.

"Dada!" she cooed

"Ducky!" she pointed out the window at a pigeon.

"No, pigeon!" Bella corrected

"Ducky!"

"Pigeon" Alice said

"Ducky!"

"OK! Ducky!" Esme compromised while Alice and Bella glared at the pigeon.

"VE-ge-mite!" Renesmey pointed to the kitchen.

"You want a vegemite sand-witch sweetie?" Esme offered smiling at her granddaughter.

'NO!" Soft tears ran down Renesme's face.

"Don't cry!" Jasper yelped, he hated it when people got upset.

"I wanna visit Jacob!" She sobbed. Rosalie drew in a sharp breath and exhailed in defeat.

"Edward!" Bella yelped, tugging on my arm. "Renesme's lips don't move when she talks!"

"It could be a gift, to project voice into someone's head."

"Smart Baby!" I cooed, handing her to Carlisle.

'What the-" Carlisle exclaimed "Emmett!"

Emmett appeared at the bottom of the stairs looking sheepish.

"Oh my!" Esme gasped, as Carlisle removed a small radio from the back of Renesme's clothes "Renesmey can't talk!" Esme looked like she was going to fall apart and cry.

"Emmett! You will sleep outside and accompany Alice on 100 shopping trips, you will also weed the garden, not annoy Bella, Leave Edwards Piano alone, not drive for 20 days and wash the dishes after the werewolves come over for dinner today!" Carlisle looked pleased about his speech and returned to his office.

"Mama?" Renesmey asked.

"Emmett! I'm going to kill you!" Alice screamed

"I swear it wasn't me!" Emmett pleaded

"Look!" Alice screamed grabbing Emmett's walkie-talkie.

"It was off the whole time!"

**If you have any more ideas please send them to me!**

**If you do Alice will take you shopping and give you her Porsche,**

**Esme will re-decorate your house, **

**Carlisle will make you all better,**

**Jasper won't drive you insane **

**and **

**Emmett will pretend to be a duck for a week! Sound good? Rosalie will also give you all of her makeup!**


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